


it gets better

by ochamoon



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Crying, F/M, Hurt, Nalu - Freeform, Suicidal Thoughts, Tears, Trauma, aquarius, coping with loss, kinda sad :(, lucy is struggling, takes place after they win against alvarez
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:55:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23429590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ochamoon/pseuds/ochamoon
Summary: "I have been fighting a losing battle with myself for so long, and I have somehow managed. But it's getting harder everyday. I can't live without her, Natsu, I just can't-" sobs wracked her body, and she bawled her dull eyes out. "There's s-so much pain...and I-I'm so tired..." she trailed off with another cry, "I don't w-wanna do this without her..."
Relationships: Natsu Dragneel/Lucy Heartfilia
Kudos: 53





	it gets better

**Author's Note:**

> gotta love a bit of nalu angst am i right?

Natsu put his hand on her shoulder, but was taken aback when she ripped it off. "No, Natsu!" she shouted, a few tears escaping her eyes. "I don't want your pity! I've dealt with this long enough on my own, I don't need you!"

"Luce..."

"Don't call me that godforsaken nickname! I am so fucking sick of you acting like you didn't leave me for a whole year! I don't want to see you, okay? Not after what you put me through!" She was full on crying now, her voice becoming raw from screaming at him.

"Lucy," he emphasized, "you think I wanted to leave?"

"Yes!" she yelled exasperatedly, "Of course I think you wanted to leave, if you didn't want to leave then you would've stayed, goddamnit!"

"No, Lucy!" He began to shout at her, "I left so I could train to defeat Zeref! I really didn't want to leave you, but I had to! You should be fucking thankful, because we all would've been dead otherwise!"

"Thankful? How could I be thankful?" her voice broke.

The two stopped shouting, out of breath, and the silence enveloped them. Lucy crumbled to the floor, her head in her hands. "Don't you get it, Natsu?" she cried out, "You left me when I needed you the most. I needed you."

"I-" he started but she cut him off.

"No, I don't want to hear your dumb apology. I've had enough." She stood up on shaky legs and wiped her eyes, "I'm going back down to the party." She opened the door and was just about to leave when Natsu grabbed her wrist. Lucy's head snapped round to him in surprise.

"Luce," he started.

"Don't fucking ca-"

"Okay, okay. Lucy, " he continued, "I promise you it will get better."

She glared at him, "When? Because I have been fucking waiting for it to get better, for a long time, actually. But guess what, Natsu, it never does! It never will! Don't try to pretend you care. You stopped caring the second you left me. "

Natsu looked down, "What... happened to you, before I left, to make you like... this?" Her eyes widened.

"Like what?"

"Broken." He whispered.

"Don't call me that." Her voice wavered.

"It's the truth, Lucy! You're acting crazy! Why won't you just calm down?!""

"Calm down?" she repeated, staring a him as if the words had left a sour taste in her mouth, "Calm down?! You have got to be fucking kidding me, Natsu! You don't know what I went through, okay? You don't know shit." Her words were laced with venom and hurt. Mascara trailed down her face, and her eyes were tired. She pointed at him, "You made me like this! You fucking did this! If you hadn't left I-" she stopped mid-sentence and just looked at him, out of breath.

Natsu stared into her brown eyes, searching for the doe brown eyes that lit up with excitement at the mention of an adventure, but all that stared back was two lifeless orbs. He gulped at how serious this all was, he could see how exhausted she was.

"I have been fighting a losing battle with myself for so long, and I have somehow managed. But it's getting harder everyday. I can't live without her, Natsu, I just can't-" sobs wracked her body, and she bawled her dull eyes out. "There's s-so much pain...and I-I'm so tired..." she trailed off with another cry, "I don't w-wanna do this without her..."

He stared at her, worry in his gaze, "Who? Lucy, please. Tell me who."

"A.." she bit her lip, trying to stop herself from crying, "Aquarius."

Natsu froze. And then he realised how much misery she must have gone through. Aquarius was her most trusted spirit, and they went back to her childhood. He sunk down to her level and wrapped his strong arms around her.

"Oh, god, Lucy." he stroked her hair, and he could feel her shaking, "I know this isn't enough, but I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He choked out, a few tears streaming out of his eyes. "I can't even imagine how hard this has been, and I left you. I left you."

Lucy cried out once again, covering her mouth with her hand to stop her shaky breaths from escaping, Natsu cried into her shoulder.

He could barely accept what he had done to her, if he hadn't left, she wouldn't be like this. This wasn't the Lucy he knew. The Lucy he knew shouted when he snuck into her bed at night, the Lucy he knew laughed when he did stupid thing, and the Lucy he knew would be smiling warmly at him right now. She's changed, and she won't be returning back to normal anytime soon. He tried to bite his tongue to not sob, because he was strong, but it was all too much. So, he sobbed, and he sobbed hard.

"I left you..." he said once again, as if he couldn't believe it.

The blonde in his arms looked up at him with puffy eyes, "Y-you're here now, okay? I just need you to be here with me now. I need you not to go. Please don't go. If you leave again I don't kno-" he stopped her dishevelled rambling with a finger over her mouth.

Natsu caressed her cheek, "I'm not gonna leave. I'm never leaving you again, for as long as I live." Lucy looked down.

"You've said that before..."

He took her hand in his and squeezed it, "I-I never meant to hurt you so badly..." he tried to give her a shaky smile, "but I can help you get through this. And maybe it won't get better right away, who knows how long it could takes, another year maybe, but I am going to be here every step of the way, Lucy."

She nodded at him and smiled at him with tears still leaking.

"Thank you, Natsu..."


End file.
